the housing problem

as the society evolves , the housing problem has been on a host of people's lips.mounting evidences suggest that a rising number of folks swarm into big city to land a decent job.an army of individuals jump to the conclusion that settling in big cities is on the topest of their agenda.

when we explore this acute and thought--provoking question, the underlying factors appear.in the very first part migrated characters stress on the name of big city over the living qulification and environment.plus, a new tide of soaring building price is becoming increasingly popular in china. this odd current give rise to the price is unattainable for overwheling majority of people.

people's views on the phenomenon vary form person to person.i think that the government should be on tight schedule to limit price surging and control the number of mirgrated people.the related institutions should put their hearts and souls into tackling this grave threat

写得很好。

as the society evolves , the housing problem has been on a host of people's lips. 第一句话就很精彩,没有错误,而且用的是上课讲的用法.

mounting evidences suggest that a rising number of folks swarm into big city  / mounting evidence  suggests that a rising number of folks swarm into big cities

 the underlying factors appear /  the underlying factors emerge

on the topest of their agenda./ on top of their agenda.

be on tight schedule to / be on a tight schedule to

for overwheling majority of people. / for an overwhelming majority of people.
再注意细节,这篇作文就完美了，

得分10

path to mature / path to maturity

digital product has transformed a luxury item into a daily necessity./ digital product has transformed from a luxury item into a daily necessity.

Gaining information by current method far outperform traditionai reading / Gaining information by current methods far outperforms traditionai reading

加油！！！

 traditionai ?/traditional

bocoming increasingly /becoming increasingly

这篇作文花了我将近30分钟感觉写的还是不好,丁sir好多经典用不进记叙文啊,万一考到不是歇菜了,请丁老师指点一二

                                          A Letter to Editor of Newspaper

Dear Editor

  I'm a regular subscriber to your newspaper.Your essays and comments often play key role in my path to maturity.I deem that if people, with exception to none, has some thorny problem,you will be bound to help him to fix them.I, therefore,write a letter to say an unpleasant experience.I bought a English dictionary in WenHua store three days ago.On my way to school, I found the book had been used by others.

  I rushed back to the store and attempted to chang one.The manager thought the quality problem was attributable to myself.He claimed that their store was not charity but corporation.Earning RMB was their core business.They stressed on cash over service.I was paralyzed by their astonishing attitude.

  There is a sliping recognition of service among current company.An army of shops focus on money above triditional value point.I appeal to the service industry to improve its attitude and quality.

不要可以寻求经典啊，把各个题型中碰到的用法多积累，这些记叙文也能写好的。

has some thorny problem / has some thorny problems

triditional value point / triditional values

向楼主学习，把学到的用到句子里面

问个问题啊,我英语老师是英语专业硕士生,上次让她改作文,我用了很多丁老师的句子,她看了半天让我用简单的比如With development of...搞的我很郁闷在六级考试中会有这样的情况不?

fellow multitude creature 能不能也是人,人们的替换词

                                            Study under a Work-Study Program

  As the society envolves,There is an explosive growth in the number of partly workers.Rising number of folks have access to highly education.The college consumption, however, is unattainable for a host of students.Anew tide,therefore, is becomingly popualr on campus.A sea of students swarm into talent market to land a decent partly job.

  When we explore the thought-provoking problem, the underlying factor emerge.A vast majority of individuals stress on cultivating skills over RMB earning .Learning knowledge and capacity is on top of their agenda. The case is often so such, seniors are on a tight schedule to work after complusory cause

  People's views on the phenomenon vary from person to person.I deem that cultivatinging practical skill can not be too emphasized.It will offer us a deep insight into our society.We should set a definite goal and then put heart and soul into scoring it.

With the development of ...这种结构太老掉牙了, 上课教的句子虽然比较新,但也是非常常见的.

fellow 一般用在fellow students 同学们

a multitude of 许多

creature一般不用来形容人。

 As the society envolves,There is an explosive growth in the number of partly workers /  As the society envolves,there is an explosive growth in the number of part-time  workers

A vast majority of individuals stress on cultivating / A vast majority of individuals stress  cultivating

 after complusory cause /  after complusory courses 在必修课之后?

老让你用简单的，那英语老师的作用是什么啊？呵呵。

最近股市很热,昨天印花税的升高拉开了回调的序幕.我写了篇股票的作文请老师看看.

                                               Stock

  The past months witnessed an explosive growth in the index of stock. It is the equivalent of a 7.5 earthquake on the Richer scale in this ancient land.Stock bargain gives a huge boost to Chinese development.A sea of investigators swarm into securities firm to purchase a decent stock.

  When we explore this thought--provoking problem, some underlying factors corp up. In the very first part, Thanks to the deepening reform and opening up, a rising number of Chinese individuals enjoy a wealth of leisure time and cash to invest.

Plus, cultivating current vaules among citizens is our party'core business.Beijing leaders have been striving to drive China up the vaule chain.

  Stock has been on a host of characters'lips.There are ,however, dark sides to it as if a multitude of  folks are acutely awear. An army of employees stress RMB earning over their jobs.Students should resolve around efforts to gain more credits.We know better than to devote endless hours to the matter unrelated to our study.

 我们是在股票市场直接搏杀的实战派,如果丁老师和各位想要了解这些金融衍生品,我可以提供专业的资料和分析,试试就知道是否准确.呵呵

In the very first part / In the very first place

Beijing leaders / Top leaders in Beijing

as if a multitude of  folks are acutely awear / as a multitude of  folks are acutely aware

resolve around efforts to gain  / revolve their effort around gaining

We know better than to / We should know better than to

to the matter / to matters

写的很好！

楼主是已经工作的证券专业人士？

受家族影响的正在实习着的大学生,呵呵.谢谢丁Sir批改,如有股票,期货,外汇的问题可以和我交流一下啊,家父和我的很多朋友都是专业的投资人士.网上可以查到.交流中提高啊!以后中国的虚拟资本市场肯定还会有很多机会的,我想就算以后不专业,清楚了解一下也是有必要的啊!

                                         What Are college Students Doning on the Internet

The past years witnessed an explosive growth in the number of Chinese netizens. A new tide is becoming incresingly popular in this ancient land. Mounting evidence suggests that a rising  number of college students devote their endless leisure time to online games.

There is growing recognition of Internet hazard among a host of experts.There  are an army of dark sides to the Internet as these authorities are acutely aware.In the digital era,a flood of students'cashs, time and energy have been revolved around efforts to play games or chat.The interpersonal ties,therefore, are weakening.

People's views on the problem vary from person to person. Students,I deem, should know better than to do matters unrelated to study.We are able to stress our credies over games.The college is bound to take swift action to put an end to the evil current.

 rising  number of college students devote / a rising  number of college students devote

There is are an army of / There   are an army of

acutly / acutely