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丁老师,黄老师,帮忙改下作文吧

丁老师,黄老师,帮忙改下作文吧

1,有些人喜欢始终从事一种工作,因为。。。
2,有些人喜欢经常更换工作,因为。。。
3,我的观点。



In modern society,there is dramatically increasing frequency on job-hopping, and people


have their respective perspectives toward it. Some hold such notion that people are supposed


to show stability and persistence on a job,which may stem from a combination of factors as


follow.For one thing, people could be more and more familiar with the circumstance which


they work in.Moreover,they are apt to be promoted in that circumstance. For another, the


loyalty toward job is determined by people's character.
    In contrast,there is no consensus of opinions concerning job-hopping. A variety of people


are inclined to believe that people can benifit from job-hopping. There are several reasons


to think so. First, people enthusiastically search for challenge in diverse field,and they


can achieve proficiency in a career. Second, opportunities for higher salary or better


working condition should appear, if people kept hopping for one job to another.Last, passion


for a job should drain, Had people been working in one company for a certain time.
        In brief, just like two sides of one coin, both opposite perspectives have their own


advantages, and each of them still has prejudice. As far as I'm concerning, I'll take a job


which is interesting to me,which would not make me escape. However, if a job is not suitable


for you, don't hesitate to hop away.

 

重贴出来

1,有些人喜欢始终从事一种工作,因为。。。
2,有些人喜欢经常更换工作,因为。。。
3,我的观点。


  In modern society,there is dramatically increasing frequency on job-hopping, and people have their respective perspectives toward it. Some hold such notion that people are supposed to show stability and persistence  on a job,which may stem from a combination of factors as follow.For one thing, people could be more and more familiar with the circumstance which they work in.Moreover,they are apt to be promoted in that circumstance. For another, the loyalty toward job is determined by people's character.
  In contrast,there is no consensus of opinions concerning job-hopping. A variety of people are inclined to believe that people can benifit from job-hopping. There are several reasons to think so. First, people enthusiastically search for challenge in diverse field,and they can achieve proficiency in a career. Second, opportunities for higher salary or better working condition should appear, if people kept hopping for one job to another.Last, passion for a job should drain, Had people been working in one company for a certain time.
  In brief, just like two sides of one coin, both opposite perspectives have their own advantages, and each of them still has prejudice. As far as I'm concerning, I'll take a job which is interesting to me,which would not make me escape. However, if a job is not suitable for you, don't hesitate to hop away.

 

请老师们详细点评,同学们广泛发表意见,大家讨论,谢谢
 

内容丰富,结构完成,条理清晰,11分档次的作文,其中有些用语不错,比如说notion, apt to

但是还是有些小错误需要注意: as far as i am concerned

还有就是最后一段在进行总结的时候和上文的衔接不是很好

 

谢谢黄老师的指点,谢谢
 
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