原文
according to the vivid cartoon ,a young boy running with sweat can be seen .Obviously ,he wins the race ,however ,this is not the information that the picture will deliver to us .It wants to tell us that not only a end is waiting for him ,but also a new start.
  Taking a case of my own ,when I came into the college ,I was very industrious because I wanted to pass the CET-6 earlier .Ultimately , I hit my target .I was so delighted that stopped studying English ever since until my English teacher sincerely gave me a lesson :” CET-6 is not your ending purpose , you must have a higher and infinite("infinite"??!!) goal . if you want to study English well . (<--Fragment) Passing the CET-6 is a new jumping-off point . ("want to study well"-->supply a method to do that. See correction.) English study like going upstream . if we don’t do our best ,we will back up .” Now , I understand thoroughly the principals of the sentence “the end is a new start for the aggressive(?????!!! What do you have in mind when you said that? See correction.) person “
  In one word , if you only notice transitory success , you won’t make a further progress . On the contrary, you will have a access to a glourious future .

修改后重写一次
(According to the vivid cartoon, a young boy is running with sweat on his forehead.)/(In the vivid picture, a young boy can be seen running with sweat on his forehead.) Obviously, he won the race;(semicolon) however, that is not the information the picture wants to deliver to us. What it wants  to tell us is that not only an end is waiting for the boy, but also a new start.
  Take a case of my own.(period) When I started college, I was very industrious because I wanted to pass the CET-6 early. Ultimately ("Eventually" is a better word), I hit my target. I was so delighted that I stopped studying English until my English teacher gave me a (piece of) sincere advice: "CET-6 is not an end in itself. You must give yourself a higher goal. If you want to master English, passing the CET-6 is a new jumping-off point. Studying English is like swimming upstream. If we don't do our best, we will be swept backward." Now, I understand thoroughly the principle of the sentence "An end is a new start for an ambitious person".

  In one word, if you only notice transitory successes, you won't make further progress. On the contrary, if you do, you will have an access to a glorious future.

原文
The chart ablow indicates the noticeable change of houses (i) in the city.In 1990,state-owned houses were more than two times than the private houses.The houses under state's control were also a little more than privated in 1995.However,in 2000,the private houses soared to 80 percent of the houses in the city and the government owned the rest .
    Many factors may account(iii) for this fact.But to me,The first key is the privated(ii) have earned enough money to buy these houses.Along with the increasing economy,many people can enjoy good life and desire to speculate in the houses market.The another reason is that the government loosed the limitness of the state-owned houses. (iv)
    All the change is very vival for both individuals and the society.Individuals could get the avenue of owning the houses at their disposal.And this fact can propel the economic dvelopment.Therefore,we should promote the trend. \\
现简述如下：是一个有一定代表性的城市，比如北京或上海．有一个图，１９９０时，政府控制８０％的房屋，私人控制其它．１９９５时，政府控制的房屋略高于私人，到２０００年，私人拥有８０％的房产，政府控制的数量下降．
要求：
１．描述图表　２．说明产生这种变化的原因　３．阐述这种变化对个人和社会的影响．

(i) It is not the house that has changed, but the ownership pattern.
(ii) "the privated"=houses. Houses don't have "enough money to buy themselves!"
(iii) You are talking about something that has already happened: "may have accounted for..."
(iv) I have no idea what that means. I will make a guess.

  修改后重写一次

  The chart below indicates the noticeable changes in the pattern of house ownership in (one particular major Chinese city)/(in one particular Chinese metropolis)/(a typical major Chinese city.) In 1990, state-owned houses were more than twice that of privately owned. Houses under state control were also a little bit more than those privately owned in 1995. However, in 2000, private houses soared to 80 percent of the houses in this city, while the government owned the rest.
 
    Many factors may have accounted for this. But to me, the first key is that people were earning more money to the point where they could afford buying these houses. Along with the expanding economy, many people can now enjoy the good life and have the desire to speculate on the housing market. Another reason is that the government has loosened the restriction on private ownership.
 
      All these changes are vital to both the individuals and society. Individuals can now have an avenue, to be used at their own disposal, for owning houses. This can propel further economic development. Therefore, we should promote this trend.

原文
This is the first American movie  which moved me to tears. It had never occurred to me that a comedy did it.I was seldom touched by movies,especially American movie.I even doubt that whether I am a cold blood animal.Now I put my heart down,the 《click》proved that I'm not so cold,Ha.
  At the start of the movie,I thought it was only a common(v) American comedy.There is nothing special,but an old plot.But I had to admit that this was a funny movie,(vi) it made me burst into laugher.With the plot developing,I found there was a strong emotion behind the humor.The leading actor worked hard to make his family happy.But in the end,he won the world,lost his family.He was lost in work.He forgot the former(ix) goal of working hard was to make his family happy (** see correction).It is not a pure(vii) comedy,(viii) it teaches me a simple,but profound truth----family goes first.When the leading actor says it to his son in the rain,I was touched entirely.The (no "the"! Just as no "the" in "I learn from life"; "Laughter fills the air." "This is a gift from nature.) tears filled my eyes.I could not control my mood.It was lucky that  no one else  was beside me.At the end of the movie,the director(xii) gives the leading actor a second chance to back to the
past.When he said love to his wife again,and made a holiday promise for his children,I was also touched.He finally realized (the whole happiness)=?? was in his  family.He would hold his happiness tightly and never let it go.
  The movie taught me a life philosophy (Chinese English construction. Other similar "Chinese constructions" are "gold heart" (heart of gold), "fire sea" (sea of fire....).It gave me a guidance in my life.I used to think that the work("work" not the "work", "nature" not "the nature", "life", not "the life"(xiii) and the family can be balanced.They are equally important.But now I understand,it is impossible for work and family to be balanced, (vi)the family must be go first.We can not(xiv) (xv) forget the ultimate goal of working hard is to make our family happy.So,remember it,"family go (xi) first".
===================
修改后重写一次
(**Be consistent with your tenses. Use either all present or all past tense.)
  This is the first American movie that(i) moved me to tears. It had never occured to me that a comedy would(footnotexv) do it. I was seldom touched by movies, especially (an American one)/(American movies.) I even doubted whether I was cold-blooded (ii) but I worry no longer, because the movie Click (iii) proved that I am(iv) not so cold,ha. (Better:..."proved me wrong".)
 
  At the beginning of the movie, I thought it was only an ordinary (iv) American comedy. There was nothing special, but seemed to follow an old plot. But I had to admit it was a funny movie, and it made me burst into laughter. (As the plot developed)/(as the plot unwound) I found there was a strong emotion behind the humor. The leading actor (better; The lead character; "character"=the character in the movie.) worked hard to make his family happy. But at the end, he won the world at the expense of losing his family. He forgot the original goal ("purpose" is a better word/concept) of working hard was to make his family happy. (Better construction is: "...was to bring happiness to his family", because his working hard did not
"make" his family happy.) This is not a (pure)(?!) comedy, but rather, something that showed me the simply but profound truth that  family should come(xi) first. When the leading man said that to his son in the rain, I was touched totally/completely. Tears filled my eyes. I could not control my emotions. It was lucky that no one else was sitting beside me. At the end of the movie, the main character was given (a chance to go back to the past)/(a second chance to re-live his past). When he expressed his love to his wife again, and made a holiday promise for his children, I was also touched ("moved" is a better word.) He finally realized that (his family was the source of all his happiness)/(his family was where all his happiness lay). Hw would hold his happiness tightly and never let it go. (better:"...never let it slip": from the idiom: slip through your fingers.) They are equally important. But now I understand. (It is impossible to balance work with family.)/(It is impossible to strike a balance between work and family.) Family must come first.(xi) (End paragraph.)

(Start new pargraph)(This is a "concluding remark" and should be a paragraph by itself.) The movie taught me a philosophy of life. It gave me a guidance for my life. I used to think that work and family can be balanced (Better: ...used to think that a balance could be struck between career/work and family.)They are equally important. But now I understand. (It is impossible to balance work with family)/(It is impossible to strike a balance between work and family). Family must come first.(xi) We should never forget the ultimate goal of working hard is to bring happiness to our family.So, remember this: "Family comes first".

(i) I am using the restrictive "that" since this is "the first American movie" that moved you to tears.

(ii) "cold blood animal" is a word by word transliteration  from Chinese. In English, one says "cold-blooded" or a "cold-blooded person."

(iii) Took me a while to realize "Click" is the name of the movie. In English, you use Italics or quotation marks to offest the name of a movie or a book. The 《》 sign is strictly Chinese. I don't even have them on any one of my keyboards. (I have to cut and paste from some place else whenever I need to use it.)

(iv) Use of contractions in formal essays. http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=11&ID=10179&star=10&page=1 第 96 楼 quoted from A weekly grammar tip created by Academic Center Peer Writing Tutors. University of Houston-Victoria

(v) A typical Chinese mistake. "Common" means "same for a set of entities", or in case of people, 'non-titled', 'non-special previledge' people. The correct word is "ordinary."

(vi) Incorrect comma splice. Run-on sentence.  Further reading: http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?BoardID=8&ID=13605 1 Run-on sentences 不间断句子: messages 2 to 3 第  2 to 3 楼

(vii) "Pure" is often used wrong by Chinese (e.g. "pure English"). I don't know what you have in mind when you use this. It may be right; it may be wrong. So I am keeping it as is.

(viii) Incorrect comma splice. Run-on sentence. (Add conjunction "and")

(ix) "former" to what?

(x) "teaches me a lesson", "shows me the truth of something..."

(xi) "come first"; not "go first".

(xii) I don't know anything about the movie. I assume that in the plot "God" gave this guy a chance to go back to the past. The usual technique is to use "passive voice" to avoid specifying who gave him the second chance.

(xiii) No the in "nature", "life", "death",...Item #6  第 4 楼  同学习作中值得商榷和分析的若干问题
http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardid=8&id=16107&star=1#16107

(xiv) Cannot is one word. No, the claim by 金山词霸 that "can not" is American English is not correct. 陆谷孙 英汉大词典's definition of cannot means "can not" is the same as that of "Webster". The information is misleading. What Webster is trying to tell its reader is that cannot means "can not", but did not say that the proper spelling and usage is "cannot". "Can not" is a rarely used emphatic form of cannot. Read through 10000 books, newspapers and magazines written by English people and you will find the number of cannot to "can not' is over 100,000 to one. On the other hand, if you read through materials written by 新东方 or inexperience Chinese writers, you will find an enormous number of "can not"s. I am now wondering if certain unqualified "foreign" teachers are also responsible for this. I notice in some schools, none of the "foreign" teachers they advertize actually has a degree in English.

(xv) Should, would, could:  第 71 楼 http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardID=11&ID=10179&star=8 or 第 13 楼http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardid=8&replyid=36740&id=16107&skin=0&page=1&star=2

诲人不倦的YETI前辈

Many of my retired colleagues are involved with some kind of volunteering work. I look upon what I am doing here and elsewhere as my share of volunteering work.
I have not been here for a few days. Since Feburary I have come down with a mysterious muscular ailment that affects my fingers, elbows, shoulders and knees. I cannot type for long before getting a cramp in my pinky (little finger.)  My doctors have not been able to determine the cause. I am going for more consultations this week.

世界因为有了很多如YETI的人，变得更美好
希望我们将来也有这样的胸怀和能力
吉人自有天象，愿您身体早日康复！

:原文
A    song  sings:"The  sunshine  always  comes  behind  the  rain ." Our  lives  are  full  of  apportunities ,challenges and  frustrations.  Some  folks  are  afraid  of  facing  the  troubles, but  others  are  not. Just  as the young  adult  in  the  cartoon,various  objects  are  around  him,they  are  symbolic  of  opportunities,challenges  and  frustrations,but  he  faces  to them  with  a  smile.Finally,the young guy beat the frustrations although new challenges are waiting for him in the future.
    If  one can not(ii) change the realities,you must change yourself.Anxiety,fearfulness,uncertainty only produce an adverse effect. We should remember there is a will, there is  a  way.I believe no  one wants to be a loser.One's activity plays an important part in the route which is the access to success.
    Full  of all kinds of challenges and frustrations is real  life. (On my personel level,we)=?( "my--we?" level?) should beat frustrations and face challenges.If not,our lives are very dull. (iii) Besides a strong will,we should arm our minds with lots  of knowledge to improve ourselves.It is a practical process.(???Can't figure out what you mean.) After coming  though a very difficult situation safely,we can taste a wonderful life.

(i) A song does not "sing" itself.  A song is sung by people.

(ii) Let me make a bet with you. Open a book or magazine written by a native speaker. Count the number of "cannot" and "can not" (when used as the negative of can.) For every "cannot' you find, you give me 1 yuan. For every "can not", I give you 10 US dollars. Never mind what your dictionary says, or whatis in  XXX必背范文, the accepted negative of "can" is "cannot", and not "can not." ("Can not" is the rarely used emphatic form of cannot.)
Sure, there are mistakes, even my Linksys router, built in China, has "can not" in one of its internal messages.

(iii) Dull is not exact the right word for this. Try "meaningless", "not meaningful", or "has no luster."
=================
修改后重写一次 (keeping as many of your original words and phrases as possible.)
    "Sunshine always come after a rain", so goes the lyrics of a song. Our lives are full of opportunities, challenges and frustrations. Some folks are afraid of facing troubles, but others are not. Just as the young adult in the cartoon, although surronded by various objects that symbolize opportunities, challenges and frustrations, he faces them with a smile. Finally, he was able to over come the odds although new challenges are waiting for him down the road.
  (If one cannot change the realities, one must change himself) / (If you cannot change the realities, you must change yourslef). Anxieties, fearfulness, and uncertainties only produce an adverse effect. We should remember that "where there is a will, there is a way". I believe no one wants to be a loser. One's activities play an important part in the route to success.
    Real life is full of all kinds of challenges and frustrations. From my personal perspective, I think we should exert our utmost to beat frustrations and face challenges. If not, our lives will have no luster. Besides having a strong will, we should arm our minds with lots of knowledge to fortify ourselves. (It is a practical process.)(???? What is "it"?) After getting over a very difficult situation safely, we can taste a wonderful life.

Mr  Yeti,thank  you  very  much.It  is  my  first  composition.
    谢谢提出宝贵意见!

原文
As you see in the picture , a young guy is arriving at terminal point with a glowing smile . Then “the terminal point is another starting point,” he says. On my personal level(i), he may go on running.
(i) "My personal level"???? What are you trying to say?

      “Tomorrow is another day.”The female character of the Gone With Wind says. As you know, when the night is coming, it means the end of today,(run-on sentence, add conjunction) in the meantime, tomorrow will be coming. In our life, so it is.(This sentence makes no sense and needs to be completely rewritten)  For example, when we finish the study in university, we will walk into the society or attend the graduate school. We not only stand at the final point of the college life, but also stand at the starting point of a completely new life.
      With the highly development of the economic, the folks must take the final point as the new point. One hand, running in the path of life uninterruptible is the only way to achieve success. Because of it, learning is the thing we can not stop until the end of life. The other hand, if you take this as your brief, you are provided with a driving force. Everyday is a new day, and a new start may make you increasingly interest the following work.
      By contrast, many young guys are bored with the wok and learning. In their view, the endless work is out of interesting. They can not see the starting point, and finish the work without warmth.What’s more, few seem willing to reverse it. In my sight, however, we have the one choice of becoming aggressive as the young guy in the picture and taking every terminal point in our life as a new start.
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修改后重写一次 (keeping as many of your original words and phrases as possible.)

  As you can see in the picture, a young guy is arriving at the terminal point with a glowing smile.(better:"broad smile") Then, he says, "the terminal point is another starting point." From my point of view, he may go on running forever.
  "Tomorrow is another day," the female character of "Gone with the Wind" says. As you know (better: "as we all know"), when night is falling, it signals the end of the day, while, in the meantime, tomorrow is coming. Things are the same in our lives. For example, when we finish studying at university, we will either enter society or attend gradual school. Not only are we standing at the final point of college life, but are also standing at the starting point of a completely new life.
  With a highly developed economy, folks must take the final point as the new starting point.
(On the one hand, running...)(See "On the one hand..." 同学习作中常见的毛病 Item #23 第 14 楼 http://www.rainlane.com/dispbbs.asp?boardid=8&;replyid=36740&id=16107&skin=0&page=1&star=2...it is incorrectly used in your essay. I am rewriting that part for you.
-->Running uninterrupted in the path of life is the only way to achieve success. Because of that, learning is the thing we cannot stop until the end of life. If you take this as your belief, you are provided with a driving force. Every day is a new day,and a new start may make you increasingly interested in the work that follows. (**Note: the "this" in "If you take this as your belief" refers to "Running uninterrupted...until the end of life", so you see that "On the one hand...on the other hand" is not applicable at all.)

  By contrast, many young guys are bored with work and study. In their view, the endless work is boring/uninteresting. They cannot see the starting point, and finish their work without enthusiasm. What's more, few seem willing to change their attitude. In my view, however, we have the choice of becoming aggressive(not the right  word to use, but I don't know what you have in mind.) as the young guy in the picture by taking every terminal point in our lives as a new start.

原文 in black.
修改后重写一次 (只修改。 尽量保持原文文字及句子。) in blue.

As the increasingly growing number of human beings in the US, the shortage of existence resource in the wildlife goes to extremes.
->As the human population in the U.S. increases, the wildlife population goes the other way.

The point was judged from sheets called“The ups and downs of population growth".-> (The graph does not "judge" anything; it merely presents the facts.) This point is illustrated by the graphs entitled "The ups and downs of population growth".

Sheet1 proves that (the range)(???) in human have increased crazily from 1800 to 1980—nearly 100 years. (Graph #1 does not "prove" anything. It only shows the facts. It is a graphic representation of the population statistics.)
(Especially, between the world warⅡ and the millennium，at the speed of population growth is 2 million on average year.)->(This is a sentence fragment. "Especially" when used this way renders this a subordinate clause.)

The first graph shows that the human population was increasing rapidly from 1800 to 1980--a span of nearly 100 years. The increase was especially rapid between the end of World War II and the end of the millenium during which it averaged out to 2 million per year.

The situation is based on the peaceful period and prosperous lifestyle. At that time, on the other hand, our friend——wildlife is putting up with harmful survivals environment. -->The growth came during a relatively peaceful and prosperous period, during which our friend the wildlife was putting up with trying to survive in a hostile environment.

It can be demonstrated from sheetⅡwhich shows numbers of species were no longer existing. -->The accompanying graph shows the number of species that has gone extinct during the same period.

Furthermore, these pity survivors are suffering from noise and air pollution in a dreadful mess and are even killed for food、skin、medicine and so on by people.
--> (Furthermore)->(You cannot use "furthermore" since "suffering from..etc" is not illustrated by the graph. Graph #2 only shows the number of species that has gone extinct.
-->One can only guess how many of those surviving species are suffering from noise, water and air pollution, or are hunted down for food, pleasure, the value of their pelts, or as ingredients for herbal medicine.

We have ignored the importance of multi-wildlife and forgot they are also elements of the earth. -->We have ignored the importance of having many species of wildlife, and forgot that they are an important component of nature. (Notice "nature", and not "the nature.)

(Then we identify the cause, we lost world.)->(I cannot figure out what this means.)
We lose sight of the fact that we are depriving of their survivorship when so many tall buildings have set up to take up room, several beautiful clothes have made up with their skin, kinds of delicious foods have cooked with their body, and number of human being have flooded into the earth which lose control. It’s our duty to make a peaceful environment for them like ours.
-->We have lost sight of the fact that, as the flood of humanity onto this earth becomes uncontrollable, we are depriving them of their rights to survive when so many tall buildings have been erected on the land they once inhabited, so many beautiful garments have been fashioned from their pelts, so much delicious food have been cooked with their meat. It is our duty to provide a peaceful and safe environment, just like the one we have, for them to live in.

benefit a lot from your brilliant revise. Thanks, dear Yeti.

原文+comments in black.
修改后重写一次 (只修改。 尽量保持原文文字及句子。) in blue.

Great achievements only can be greeted by those folks, already make preparation at any time. As the picture depicts, a string and handsome horse stands up and gets ready to run.-->As depicted by the picture of a strong and handsome horse standing by ready to run that great achievements can only be greeted by those who are always prepared.


  Everyone(=->Everyone is singular) have their own ambition. Life is the process, consistently chasing the ambition. 
There is no doubt that one will make the ambition possible.->(This is a blanket statement that needs to have a qualifier: a condition for which this becomes possible. E.g. There is a good chance that one can fulfill that ambition if one tries hard enough.)(I would shy away from absolutes such as "no doubt", since we know from real life that not everyone succeeds no matter how hard he tries.)  Some, (not in the least)=? (What has this to do with "Some"? "Not in the least" of what?), however, initially make a plan, (need a conjunction here to avoid a run-on sentence) abandon later on account of they can’t put up with hardship.



-->Everyone has his/her own ambition. Life is the process by which one chases that ambition consistently. There is a good chance that one can fulfill that ambition if one tries hard enough. Some, however, make a plan initially, but abandon it later on, on account of not being able to put up with hardship.


  Painstaking efforts, from my perspective, should be made on ambition’s behalf. Plus, it is a must for you to persist. (I am holding an abiding belief that you will taste success.)-->Again, you need to qualify the statement. You are making a blanket guarantee that "you" will succeed. If so, why does the person has to persist?


--> Painstaking efforts, from my perspective, should be made on ambition’s behalf. I am holding the abiding belief that you will taste success if you follow my advice.

原文及修改笔记及注意事项 in black
修改后重写(尽量保持原文字句给结构)(不担保我没有错或有遗漏) in blue
===============================
As  the  picture  depicts,  two  disabled  men,one  lakes(-->lacking)  right  leg  and  the  other  one  lakes(lacking)  left  leg,who are  striving  torun  towards  a  common  aim.The  crutches  belonged  to  them  are  disposed. (In  the  meaning)=???(no idea what this is)  while  an  impressive  sentence under  the  picture  reads:You  have  a  leg,I  have  a  leg,you  and  me go  to  anywhere  together.
(i) There is a subtle difference between aim and goal. In this case, "goal" is the better word.
(ii) Watch out for punctuations. Punctuation is part of the English grammar. The commas after "legs" makes the sentence a "run-on sentence." Conjunctions should be added.
(iii) "lacking a left leg": participle phrase modifying "one"
(iv) The use of "who" will make the sentence a "fragment." Take out the modifiers and you will be left with "Two diabled men who are striving to run towards a common aim", and that is not a complete sentence, but a sentence fragment.


As the picture depicts, two disable men, one missing a right leg and the other the left, are striving to run towards a common goal. Their crutches have been disposed. An impressive caption below the picture reads, "You have only one leg and I also have only one, but together we can go anywhere."


  It  is  noted  that  cooperation  pays  off. Cooperation,from  my  perspective, (is  emergence  of  a  wide range)(No idea what this is. I will make a guess).It exists between  internations,regionals,audlts  and  so  on.They (Who are they?)(I will correct this based on my hunch)  advocate the spirit  of  cooperation. One  power  is  weak,however,more than  one powers  do  a  single  thing  have  an  enormous  opportunity(vi)  of success.For  instance,this  large earthquake  took place  in  China  had  cliamed  a  wealth  of  folks (vii) lifes.The  Chinese  government  put  (viii) into  practice  swiftly  to  asked  all  audlts  joined  our  hands to  commit  ourselves  to  (fighting it)(v)  and  helping  survivors.
(v) You cannot fight an earthquake, at least not with the technology we have as of today. You can only help with the relief effort in the aftermath of the quake.
(vi) Not "opportunity", but "chance."
(vii) I don't think "a wealth of"  is used appropriately here. I don't know what you had in mind, but "many lives" or "an enormous number of lives" is, surprisingly, the better way of saying it.
(viii) Put 'what' into practice?

We can see that cooperation pays off. Cooperation, from my perspective, is ubiquitous (or "is everywhere" or "is essential to every endeavor"). It exists between nations, regions, peoples, and so on. (Peoples=different race/nations of people.) The spirit of cooperation should be encouraged.(ix) One power is week;(semicolon) however, when more than one power is involved in doing a single thing, there is an enormous chance of succeeding.  For instance, the recent major earthquake that took place in China claimed an enormous number of lives. The Chinese government put rescue and relief effort into motion swiftly by asking everyone to join hands to commit themselves to rescuing and helping survivors.

(ix) Passive voice is often used to avoid the mentioning of "by whom": a useful technique in writing.

  So  it  can  be  concluded  that  cooperation  contributes  to  a  country  became  more  stronger,no  matter  in  political,economical  or  other  aspects.
--> So we (x) can conclude that cooperation contributes to a country's(xi) becoming stronger politically, economically, and in other aspects.
(x) Use "we" to make this more forceful.
(xi) You have to talk to a grammar expert, and not just anyone, about this point. Is it "contribute to his becoming.." or "contribute to him becoming"?

pretty detailed; thanks, dear Yeti.

BTW,  the time you wake up is so early that  young people just like me (my morning ring is 7:20) should take you as a model.

Au contraire! I get up rather late. 
Don't forget there is a 12 hours difference between us.  6 a.m. is 6 p.m. my time!

Sorry, I forgot you there was pacific time zone. 

But what could be concluded apparently was that you had enough and better sleep than most of your peers, even ones several years your junior. My father who is 62 years old now often has to get up at 6:00 since he cannot fall asleep any longer once wake up at that time, and in fact, he didn't need an alarm clock for a long time.

久闻yeti爷爷大名···还帮忙改了我的作文，感激不尽！