On Success
  Success, a sensitive word, we are all look forward to. As an university student of the new century, I also long to make it. Success enjoys a wealth of things. You would never know it only if you devote yourself to it. As soon as you taste success, you will gain the delight and content.
  There are a great plenty of ways which lead to success. While in my opinion, I consider that industry and persevere top the list. As what Edison says: ? If you wish to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry. We are not genius .if we want to score success, I think in the first place, we should be industrious. Industry can make up slowness, you are bound to become easier to achieve success. In addition, persevere is another factor which produce a huge impact. It’s quite common that lots of obstacles and countless failure will come forward, you should be fully aware of the challenges. Failure is the mother of success, so don’t lightly to say give up. Just insist, bright is on the way.
  Make a goal for your life, success belongs to you!

we are all look forward to/all of us look forward to
I also long to make it?

an university student -->a university student
There are a great plenty of ways which lead to success-->……ways leading to success
While in my opinion-->From my perspective
top the list-->top our agenda
Industry can make up slowness-->勤能补拙？？？

恩。对。。。谢谢拉

It pays to be honest
Honesty is an aspect of reflect of your moral level which stands for your attitude for the society. However, the society is full of dishonest phenomenon. Nowadays, a wealth of conflicts take place as a result of one’s dishonesty. Lots of businessmen had lost customers’ trust; what contribute to his final failure. A student would never be spoken highly of if he practiced fraud while taking the test. To sum up, dishonesty will be bound to lead anyone into trouble.
Honesty will be your permanent treasure once you possess it. And it will benefit you for a life-time. What you should do is extremely simple: keep your words and never tell lies to anyone.
In my opinion if we all honest, the moral climate will span across the nation. If we Chinese are all fully aware of the importance of honesty, our nation including our moral level will be increasingly strong!

Honesty is an aspect of reflect of your moral level which stands for your attitude to  the society. However, the society is full of dishonest phenomena. Nowadays, a wealth of conflicts take place as  a result of one’s dishonesty. Lots of businessmen had lost customers’ trust; what contribute to their  final failures. A student would never be spoken highly of if he practiced fraud while taking the test. To sum up, dishonesty will be bound to lead anyone into trouble.
Honesty will be your permanent treasure once you possess it. And it will  be beneficial to you for a life-time. What you should do is extremely simple: keep your words and never tell lies to anyone.
In my opinion ,if we're all honest, the moral atmosphere will span across the nation. If we Chinese are all fully aware of the importance of honesty, our nation including our moral level will be increasingly strong!  nice！

How to be likeable in social life
There’s no one but longs to be likeable in social life. It’s said that the limit of your friend circle stands for your social communicating ability. We get involved in a host of social activities, in order to acquire abundant knowledge and establish more stable friendship. Simply put, we should be fully aware of the importance of social life.
However, it’s worth our attention that if we look forward to being likeable, we should possess some splendid qualities. From my perspective, in the first place, you should be an optimistic person. The attitude of life is bound to produce a huge impact. In addition, you should own a wealth of merits. For instance generous, amiable and so forth. Furthermore, talkative can capture more attention to interact with you.
To sum up, we should spare no effort to improve our ability and expand our view, not just be confined to the things at present, and do our utmost to jump at every chances to make friends however old he is!

Furthermore, talkative can capture more attention to interact with you".中主语词性错误

For instance ,generous, amiable and so forth. Furthermore, talkactive can capture more attention to interact with you.

I am trying to correct your essay but is unable to decipher what you mean by "Success enjoys a wealth of things. You would never know it only if you devote yourself to it. As soon as you taste success, you will gain the delight and content.." Can you write that out in Chinese so I can find a way to correct it?  The way it is written now makes no sense at all.

不好意思这么久才回..没什么时间上网..谢谢老师的细心指导
我的意思是;成功意味着很多东西.你永远不会知道除非你用心去追求了,一旦你成功了.你就会体会到那份开心和满足..
现在读来好象是比较空洞....

"Success enjoys a wealth of things. You would never know it only if you devote yourself to it. As soon as you taste success, you will gain the delight and content.."--> Success means a lot of things, but you will never know them unless you go after it with all your heart and soul. Once you succeed, you will experience the joy and contentment that comes with it.

To sum up, we should spare no effort to improve our ability and expand our view, not just be confined to the things at present, and do our utmost to jump at every chances to make friends however old he is!